New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
