how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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