i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
