come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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