that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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