Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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