I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
