I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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