Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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