I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize