I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
40s are totally the cure
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
