You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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