Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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