ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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