im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
third nipple confirmed
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
