he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I would fuck him just for his dog
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
