I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
