I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize