She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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