Barsexuality is the new black.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize