Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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