Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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