ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wish you could order shots online.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
