The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
