Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
