I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
