Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
