hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We left an ass print on the piano.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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