My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
