Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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