What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
