hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
