kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
