Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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