I'm sorry my penis didn't work
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
