I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
