so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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