i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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