im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
