What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
