I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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