I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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