so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
