tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
