Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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