bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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