I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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