Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
