I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
