I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you would pick up someone in the library
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize