You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
MIDGETS
????
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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