i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
