this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
being pregnant is like rehab
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
