i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
