went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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