I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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