Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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