he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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