just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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