I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
