some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
tell me about the fingering
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