You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
