this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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