It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
