I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
sarcasm needs its own font
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
