He uses pillows to masturbate.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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