I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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