I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
