I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
